Angry wind

You howl around the house
Bending branches
Thrashing against the window
What do you want?
So Desperate to engage with me
I’m non responsive
You Force the glass, it shakes
You Rattle the doors
You roar and moan
I don’t understand you
Your fury is forceful
I am quiet
I stop and listen
I hear your screams, your pain
Your howling drops to a breeze
You whisper, I see you now
You are calm again
The world is still once more

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Awash with emotion

A wash with emotion

Today I am all over the place. Every emotion I can think of consumes me in waves. I know why I just don’t know how to get rid of them all. Today’s tune in my head has been the Proclaimers ‘you broke my heart’.  It seems awfully apt. Not just one person breaking my heart but many. Not just for love, but friendship, kindness and compassion. People are so good at stomping all over you to get what they want. If only they stopped and thought what it does to the other person?

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Pain burning raw inside me

My heart is broken

In a thousand different pieces

By too many people

Who just don’t think?

Unrequited love,

I can’t say those words

I can feel it though

It breaks my heart

You stopped the friendship

After all these years

Too busy for me now

Yet I now shed tears

No one to listens

Hold my hand.

You stole my kindness

You broke my heart

Sucked the living daylights

I now fall apart

Can anyone fix me?

Just a little compassion

Is all I ask?

I am fed up of feeling

That my heart is torn

I want it mended

Loved, cared for

I want to laugh again

Roller coaster of emotions.

Today I have seen most of life events, they have stretched out in front of me and made my day very rich. From simplicity to complicated, from baby to death. My inspiration came today from a young man not much older than my own son, whose mother had recently died. I watched him, listened to him, sympathized with him and thought what a wonderful person he was and how his mother must have been so proud. It brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. Today has been a roller coaster of emotions.

Head pounds, pain is searing

Brain wants to escape

Heart beats rapidly

Body follows suit

Smile remains on my face

Deep breaths to stay calm

It is not  mysadness

It is not my turmoil

I am here to help

You pour out your heart

I listen without sound

I wait, you finish

All I can do is help you

Your mother would have been proud

I am glad to have met you

enriched my life.

And be thankful for me

My life and my future.

Hidden in a Cloak

Face is set with a smiling beam

Bounce in my feet as I enter the room

Joy in my voice as I converse with others

this is the me that others can see

 

The invisible cloak is worn today

I pull it tight, no gaps appear

It is my comfort blanket

I feel safe and warm

 

Why and what are you hiding

Hurt, for I cant say where the pain is

Sadness, for I cant show my tears

Disappointed, but I cant explain why

 

So hidden in the cloak

Are the bits that I cant share with the world

just for a while, I keep it tight around me

Self preservation, until I am stronger

 

 

I’ve heard it all before

When we fall for another person, what we see is skin deep, as we get to know them we realise that people are complex.

People tell lies, little white ones to protect themselves and others. then they tell the whacking corkers that sting and hurt.

I often wonder do they always realise they are telling lies or have they got so used to telling them that they become the lie?

I wrote this some time ago,  I still don’t have an answer to the question.

                                                              

                                             I’ve heard it all before.

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The lie that you told me was it the first or the last

Did you realise it would hurt and cause me terrible pain?

Did you know you that it flowed out of your mouth with such ease?

Were you wrapped up in it so completely it felt like the truth?

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You’ve tangled yourself up in a web of deceit

A white lie, a grey one and now it’s turned black

I think you believe you’re genuine with your words

I am amazed your actually two different people

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The one man that lies hurts beyond belief

It ties my stomach in knots its makes me feel sick

The anxiety panics me you betray so much

I wish you would stop causing me so much pain

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The second man is truthful and good

His words lift me and light up my life

They make me feel happy, a warm glow wraps around me

You make me feel special and wanted

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I have two choices to so what shall I choose?

I can stay with a liar and lead a life of pain

I could choose to cut you dead and leave you out of my life

The second would cause me such sadness

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The part of you that is truthful is loving and kind

He treats me with the most amazing respect

Please put the liar back in the box and turn over a new leaf

Make the truthful one strong, be mine.

Chat to Correspondence

During our lives there are people who stay with us and those that pass through. Very often when we have helped them all that we can, they leave us. We might be sad but we know that we have done all that we can do for them.

I like to think that I have played a healing part in their lives and they are ready to take new steps alone.

This poem I wrote for someone who was an important part of my life, but no longer needs me in hers.

Chat to Correspondence

It started with Hi on a single text, it made me smile

It was the first step, a starting point

I replied Hi, it wasn’t a bolt of lightening

The gentle start was just what I was looking for.

 

Excitedly it became more, you wanted to know me

You needed a friend, I was happy to be one

You suggested email as you said it would be easier,

Why I thought, it’s not instant, but it was.

 

You emailed me constantly, frenzied and fast

I responded with the same amount of excitement and speed

Your world was falling apart, you needed to download

All I could do was listen, by reading your words.

 

You sounded panicky, in pain needing a release

There was nothing really I could do from this side of the screen

I could feel your pain, your anxiety your distress

I sat here feeling useless and inadequate

 

The chat stopped, instantly like losing a limb

There was nothing at all, I kept looking

I waited, I ached, I worried, I wondered

What had happened to you? Where were you? Did you still need me?

 

Finally a solitary email arrived

The tune had changed you were different

You found your strength, you found a voice again

There was no more chat between us

 

I’ve done my job, I step back, slightly sad

I helped you grow, I’m not needed anymore

I have lost a friend, but I know there are more to gain

Your chat now is just correspondence, I am pleased you are yourself again