Roller coaster of emotions.

Today I have seen most of life events, they have stretched out in front of me and made my day very rich. From simplicity to complicated, from baby to death. My inspiration came today from a young man not much older than my own son, whose mother had recently died. I watched him, listened to him, sympathized with him and thought what a wonderful person he was and how his mother must have been so proud. It brought a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. Today has been a roller coaster of emotions.

Head pounds, pain is searing

Brain wants to escape

Heart beats rapidly

Body follows suit

Smile remains on my face

Deep breaths to stay calm

It is not  mysadness

It is not my turmoil

I am here to help

You pour out your heart

I listen without sound

I wait, you finish

All I can do is help you

Your mother would have been proud

I am glad to have met you

enriched my life.

And be thankful for me

My life and my future.

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One Sided Conversation

Written after listening to my 22 year old son, I realise what a throw away society we live it.  I am still of the ilk that if I buy something it lasts forever.. From a mobile phone. (yes mine is now semi modern) to the tv.

I watch and listen to my son and his friends and they definitely live for the moment in all that they do.  From the phone which when it doesn’t work, they don’t seem to wait for a contract to end by just get another one, to how they view life in general.

So this poem is random and really sums up throw away life…

One sided conversation

Hi Man, yeah

How’s it going?

Yeah

I know what you mean.

Yeah

I’m skint too.

You can come here no probs,

No she don’t mind

Bring some cans yeah

Hang out, game of poker?

Monopoly, Yeah no worries…. Cool

So when’s that happening

2033, we’ll be 43 by then

If the band hasn’t made it I’ll be right pissed off

Tell you what man

We’ll be having a mid life crisis

If we do, fuck it lets go to mars then.

Yeah  Sweet

Right gotta ring my agency .

Laters

Turn the Tables

Having spoken to my closest friend, I understand her dilema and her need to have confidence and believe in herself.

So this poem I dedicate to her.

Turn the Tables

You slammed the door as you entered the house,

You drag your dirty shoes across the new carpet.

“WHATS FOR DINNER’ you shout at me,

You couldn’t even say hello, how was your day.

 

‘I’m not cooking’ I tell you gently

‘I still have several hours of work to do yet.’’

You turn without looking at me and stomp out of the room,

 “THERE’S NOTHING HERE TO EAT’, your bellowing bounces off the wall.

 

‘YOU WILL HAVE TO GO SHOPPING’ you spit the words out.

‘I can’t, I’m tired from work, I’ve just got in, I have too much to do right now.’

IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU ISN’T IT; IT’S ALWAYS ALL ABOUT YOU.

I can see anger flaring up in your eyes.

 

I shake; I tremble, I shrink back into my skin,

Is it all about me? I think to myself

Am I being selfish or rude or unkind?

The guilt flows through every part of my body, I feel I’ve failed.

 

I step back and stare, my thoughts start to unwind

It’s not me; I realize it’s not me at all, I am the Mother;

This is my house now, I earn the money, I pay the bills

I am tired of being treated with no respect

 

I stand opposite you, “Look at me” I say

“You are my son and you are selfish and unpleasant right now.”

I want a warm happy place to come home to.

So here on in, I would like support, respect and kindness,

My love for you never falters, but it’s time to put your anger away.